Last bit of love; gone with the flew away kite.

Last bit of you; gone with the blink of an eye.

A pang of desire, a shocking pain. A moment of truth, an eternal scar. 

23 February 08, never had a day awaiting for your completion of national service a bored, but an exciting step to reunion. It was tough, it was rough. We had such limited times, such painful misses, yet we hanged on. 26 December 08, you were the 1st guy to ever planned such a romantic birthday surprise for me, I was speechless. You proved yourself to be true. 14 February 09, despite a hectic schedule to return camp at night, you arranged a lovely V.day celebration at Shangri-La Hotel, it was the first time i made you food; heart shaped almond jellies. 20 February 09, we did the most romantic thing by donation blood together. It was your 1st try.  

5 May 09, first sign of health threat arise in you; your jaws. Opts was dangerous, a misplaced nerve would lead to nonfunctional jaws. You had my heart hanging in mid air, I was frustrated without a solution. 8 May 09, you were admitted to TTS. Rushed down after lesson and saw you in a wheelchair, my heart shattered, it really did. This time, I cried. I witnessed you suffered for days with your jaw and dislocated bone. I remember you telling me that you will be okay and you smiled. And I told you, I would not mind spending the rest of my life taking care of you. 12 June 09, my blog posts increased. You finally finish years of training, reunion never tasted so sweet. Even so, you were there when I had to receive my results for school. You cried with me, when it didn't came out too good. You ran around, trying to find the perfect solution. Ever since, I never stopped blogging about us. Life was  fairytale come true with you around.

14 July 09, 1st time I fainted after donation. You rushed straight to my side upon hearing the news. Ignoring your own donation rest. I saw fear, pain and care in your eyes. I teared. 14 September 09, we dined out. You fed me a spoonful of rice and I realized there was a screw in it, I almost swallowed it. You were silly enough to blame yourself cause you said you fed it to me. 24 October 09, we had donation together again. And I fainted again. And you were there again. This time, I thanked God for you. 19 November 09, Boyboy passed away. A call from me, you were jogging to my house already. Helped my buried him and comfort me. I know, I was too deeply depended on you. 10 December 09, you went oversea and I was love sicked. Yet you contacted me anytime possible. We even mailed each other. Misses were overwhelming.

15 January 10, you heard that I got scalped while eating steamboat. You surprise visit and brought along burn cream. I was really fortunate. 17 February 10, we timed out. I was too depended on you. I made your birthday an unhappy one. I made you teared too much. I was apologetic, and I always realized only after you went away. 22 March 10, we came back together, yet I upset you soon enough. Chance after chance you gave, you still showered me with love. 6 June 10, I remembered how happy you were when I said I wanted to join you in the marathon. You told me I didn't have to complete the race. Running with you was blissful enough. 26 June 10, you brought tickets to Pixar exhibition and made me another memorable day of fun. 13 September 10, you organized my 21st party, you were the only one putting everything up and yet, I got angry again and forgot your kindness. By then, I guessed you were worn out. 19 September, you use all ways and means to get me another ticket to USS, I was emotionally unstable and you forgive me yet again. Ever since then, my blog posts dropped. Because we were always spending time quarreling, hurting each other, giving chances. 22 November 10, I was devastated when I realized how you cheated me to go club. My trust was betrayed. You promised never to do it again, you didn't want us to end. 25 December 10, you told me you wanted to eat fruit tart. I search high and low for everything needed and spend the whole day making it. 27 December 10, though it was probation, you spend the day flying kite with me, prawning and watching movie together. You said the tart was delicious. I thought everything will be okay. 28 December 10, we ended. a week of probation was over. The pain still lingers. But I saw a change from you and know it's really over. 29 December 10, I found out a shocking news about you. I never knew I was betrayed this way. Seriously, I hated you. I hated that I didn't know if everything before  this was true. 30 December 10, I spend days grieving, I could not handle the pain.I lost connection with the world. I hurt myself and lock my heart out. 

31 December 10, my last cry. I still feel the pang of pain. I still woke to tears line on my face. I figured we were both wrong. I was too depended on you, taking chances and chances from you. Quarreling with you. You were wrong. You didn't have to cheat on me. It resulted from our quarrels that you just can't stand it anymore. Yet betrayal was worst then anything.

We were both selfish and wanted more from each other; I'm sorry.

This love stays in my heart and mind.

Love was what we used to shared.
Love was me and you in each others eye.

Love was what we build up with tears and sweat.
Love was leaving each other to happier lives.

Goodbye J.